dumbed down & numbed by time & age

I should be reading Shakespeare which actually amounts to me reading Sparknotes on Shakespeare but even that is seemingly daunting at the moment. I woke up with a sore throat today. I haven't been sick in a long time so I actually am not too upset by it. I made a tumblr the other day, I still don't fully understand that nonsense but maybe in time I will. Most of my days are spent on campus wasting away in the library or bored to death in a class that I lack passion for. I am not a fan of this semester in the least. I find myself growing jealous of friends that only have class twice a week or have taken a hiatus from school to work. I don't know if this is normal for all college students that are almost done but I am just so over this school life. I'm tired of the endless questions about if I want to teach or what I want to do with my English degree because in all honesty I want to do this. I want to drink overpriced coffee and wander around big cities and write what I feel. And I didn't even need to go to school for that.

the ones that love you will never stop.

I've been really busy with school stuff lately so I haven't had time to update, what with the semester winding down and what not. I did want to say this though. My adolescent literature class has been one of my favorite classes in my college career thus far. I thought it would be amazing to read books for teens and not really do a lot of work which is mainly true, but we were all required to teach one of the books to the class. The book my group was assigned was The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie. It's a great book if you haven't read it or heard of it like I hadn't. I mainly just wanted to post some quotes from it because I loved it. I also decided Sherman Alexie might be one of my favorite writers. His poetry is great too and he's hilarious which is a nice bonus. I follow him on Twitter and if that's your thing then I'd recommend following him.  


"There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away."

"I ran away from there as fast as I could. I wanted to run faster than the speed of sound, but nobody, no matter how much pain they're in, can run that fast."

"I think the world is a series of broken dams and floods, and my cartoons are tiny little lifeboats."

“I used to think the world was broken down by tribes,” I said. “By black and white. By Indian and white. But I know that isn’t true. The world is only broken into two tribes: The people who are assholes and the people who are not”.

“If you care about something enough, it’s going to make you cry. But you have to use it. Use your tears. Use your pain. Use your fear. Get mad. Arnold, get mad.”

“I didn't know what to say to her. What do you say to people when they ask how it feels to lose everything? When every planet in your solar system has exploded?” 

“Grief is when you feel so helpless and stupid that you think nothing will ever be right again, and your macaroni and cheese tastes like sawdust, and you can't even jerk off because it seems like too much trouble.” 

“You have to love somebody that much to also hate them that much, too."

i was in the darkness, so darkness i became.

I have a playlist of four songs...in case you were wondering what I've been listening to on repeat all day. In my car and in my room. While writing poetry. It's fantastic.

Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love



Mumford and Sons - Home



Birdy - Skinny Love



James Morrison - Pieces Don't Fit Anymore




Yup, I'm obviously single...

‎"Day after day...give me clouds, and rain, and gray. Give me pain, if that's what's real. It's the price we pay to feel."

I saw the most amazing play last night. It's called "Next to Normal". I hadn't really heard of it before but my parents saw it last week and my professor in one of my classes was talking about it so I went on closing night and I can't remember the last time I loved a play so much. I keep thinking about it today. I'm sad it's not on Broadway anymore. The link explains what the play is about but really if you ever get a chance I'd highly recommend it. It's an interesting viewpoint of someone with a mental illness as well as addressing suicide and prescription drug problems.

Anyway it reminded me of this quote:

I think mental illness or madness can be an escape also. People don't develop a mental illness because they are in the happiest of situations usually. One doctor observed that it was rare when people were rich to become schizophrenic. If they were poor or didn't have too much money, then it was more likely. And this is natural, if things are very good, you can find satisfaction with the world as it is, as it seems to be. If things are not so good, you may be one to imagine something better.

I'm not gonna pretend I have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or any disorder that might have hallucinations or what not but as someone who does have depression and anxiety I really appreciated the fact that they said mental illnesses are like any other kind of physical illness if it goes untreated you could die. I have a lot of friends with depression and I know they're struggling and it makes me sad and worried about them. It's easy to say that life is hard and that it'll get better on it's own but sometimes that isn't always the case. Sometimes you need extra help, and I just want everyone to know that getting help isn't a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. 

Anyway I don't know where that all came from but I think that's all for tonight.

september obsessions.

Alright so I'm creatively blocked and super bored so we're gonna have a cop out blog and have some September obsessions! Woooo.





1) Foster the People


Except I really don't like Pumped Up Kicks. I do love this song though. So much.

2) Taco Bell Chicken Flatbread Sandwiches


Umm these are only 99 cents. And they're actually delicious. I am not ashamed hahaha.

3) Catcher in the Rye


I tried reading this book before my junior year(?) of high school and I absolutely hated it. I decided to cop out and just read the Spark Notes but I was assigned to read it for my Adolescent Lit class and I absolutely love it. It's up there in my favorite books now. If you hated the book in high school I recommend you try rereading it. Or if you haven't read it you should give it a try. It's a very polarizing book and it seems like you either really hate it or really love it but yeah. Holden Caulfield ♥

4) Gray nail polish


This one to be exact! Break a Leg-Warmer. Haha I love it. It's Sephora by OPI.

we were all in love, and we all got hurt.

I guess I should say something here again ha. So it's Labor Day which means summer is officially over. I am spending my Labor Day being extremely ill with the flu that just won't quit! Woo. I guess that's a sign of fall eh? Also the fact that I am looking up Halloween costumes though I have no idea what my plans will be that night yet. Another happy fall-related thing is Pumpkin Spice Lattes come back tomorrow! So excited!!

But anyway maybe I'll have a deep moment for a second here.

It always amazes me after a break up how weird it is that certain small things are the same. I think I blogged about this last time too. But it's still weird to me. Like knowing things about that person even though they're pretty much a stranger. Like my ex boyfriend is allergic to bees or can only have the volume on an even number or a number ending in 5. There's tons of those little things in my mind that I know about him and that I'm sure haven't changed since we've been apart even though everything else has. I'm sure he knows things about me too but it's just weird for me to think about.

I start therapy again on Wednesday. It'll be interesting. I'm pretty nervous but kind of excited. Which is weird I guess ha. I don't know.

I'm watching this show about how pop culture saved America. It's all about 9/11 and it's so interesting. It's making me really sad, I'm basically crying. I'm so grateful for this country that we live in even though I feel like leaving it more often than not I'm always so happy to come home.

This got really random really fast ha. I guess I'll just end it here.

Happy Labor Day.

i don't always pour beer on byu fans, but when i do i pour dos equis ;)

So I’m skipping my daily blog challenge entry for today because something a million times more amazing happened today.

WE BEAT BYU!!

And we probably shouldn’t have hahaha but whatever I will freaking take it. We played like crap…but if we play like crap and can still beat BYU then wtf is wrong with them? Hahaha anyway!

So basically I was down in St George and my tv sucks down there so I don’t get channels like the Mountain orrr CBS College so my father and I ventured to a sports bar. In this sports bar they nicely segregated us by who we were cheering for. It wasn’t totally obvious but they did ask us who we wanted when we walked in…although I think I looked pretty red and black but you know whatever haha. But anyway so basically the game kinda sucked for us poor U fans until the 4th quarter so after the 3rd quarter my dad got bored and was like “This is looking pretty bad…we should probably just leave” so we get in the car and try to find it on the radio. Of course the only station we can find is Cougar radio so we listen to this excruciatingly biased broadcast get home and come to find the rest of the fam listening to the same broadcast which seriously was so hilarious. They glossed over anything Utah did and went sooo over the top for anything those stupid kittens did. Seriously at the very end when we won they were like “kickwasblockedutahwins” like all in one breath and super mumbled it was AWESOME. Also jumping out of my chair and screaming and my mom glaring at me was fun.

It is not easy being from a blended BYU/Utah family trust me. Hahahaha.

Anyway I am just too happy and can’t even think about anything else right now.

Also some of my besties were on tv!

Hahahaha. Love you guys.

Also my friend Rhiannon was but she was like, on the news hahaha and I couldn’t find a video but I love my friends and their love of the Utes hahaha. Seriously so happy right now.

Fall favorites

Ahhh it is finally fall! Although the weather in Salt Lake isn't exactly cooperating with the changing seasons I could not be more excited for fall.
It is actually probably my favorite season. And October is definitely my favorite month! So here's a list of my favorite things about them.


1) Leaves!
The leaves are sooo pretty. I do not take credit for that picture but I will definitely be taking some pictures when the colors get more vibrant. I love the cooler weather!


2) Sweaterrrrs
I. Want. This. Sweater. So. Bad. But it is 150 dollars soo basically out of my price range. But I love sweaters! They are so cozy and soft and they just make me happy! I can't wait to be able to wear them all the time.


3) All my tv shows are back!
You guys have no idea how much tv I watch. It's actually really really embarrassing. I know what day of the week it is by what shows are on that night. It's so sad but really. I love it, it's such an escape for me haha.


4)Pumpkin-flavored everything!
I really like pumpkins. They are cute little squashes and such a pretty shade of orange. But I love the way they taste! And it seems like everyone else does too. Everyone has pumpkin flavored something. Cupcakes, yogurt, lattes, bagels, pie, cream cheese, cookies, cheesecake, you name it.


5) And of course, Halloween
I love everything about Halloween. I love dressing up, candy, carving pumpkins, watching scary movies, exploring haunted things, apple cider, everything. Seriously it's just wonderful.

And also for an added bonus...

6)October is pie month at Marie Callender's hahaha
And yes, it is October 1st and I've already gotten two pies and they were both delicious.