a story without an ending

Friends, Hold the Benefits

An agreement we both made,

late at night

when the inhibitions are low

and the lights are too.

Our midnight conversations

and the playful flirtation

gave way to this confession,
You kept me up all night.

I didn’t want you to slip away,

I grasped at anything I could,

the attraction was exhilarating

and you infuriated me.

The looks we exchanged,

the secret smiles we shared,

knowing our contract was sealed

and waiting to be signed.

But it never came to fruition,

and I felt you withdraw,

waiting for the benefits to kick in,

but they never did.

The premium was too high,

perhaps

Or maybe I was just too much of

a

liability.

A Pirate and his Rum

A pirate and his rum,

a codependent bond.

Because what good is rum

if it will not be drunk?

And what good are your lips,

if they will not move

and form the words to free

me from this uncertainty.

A mermaid and her penchant,

for things she can’t have.

Legs to walk on land,

or to attract the pirate man.

And what could be more fitting,

than a pirate and a mermaid,

to intertwine, and intertwine their

love of the sea.

Addictions

These are the thoughts that fuel alcoholism in your middle age

the what-ifs and regrets return like an old friend.

The possibilities now like dead end signs or

neon lights fallen into disrepair

sputtering and shaking til it goes out.

And there’s an irony that your disinterest

catalyzed my addiction

when you swore to never become

your father.

But it isn’t your fault

We were predisposed and this is fate.

No.

This is bullshit.

The way humans can affect you

simulating a drunken feeling and

I never got as drunk again as I

felt with you.

I chased the sensations to try to

recreate you.

There’s no way your chemicals don’t

react the same way.

This is madness.

An obsession

Fix me, fix me

I need this.

Just a taste on my lips

just a touch on your skin.

Can you be addicted before your first time?

Maybe the anticipation is the rush,

the trip, the experience.

Make me clean,

break me whole

fuck me

up.

Sirens and Sirens

Hazards and warnings,

to keep us safe,

but there is no precaution for

the shards and cuts

sustained from this.

It used to be my favorite place to be,

the water could camouflage me,

distorting the flaws I carry,

but it only seemed to illuminate,

and make the blemishes more clear.

My inexperience became apparent,

my cockiness caught up.

You let me drown.

I accepted it at first,

a whirlpool pulling me under.

When I realized what had happened though,

that you were waving from your ship,

safely in its harbor,

I was alone.

This siren lost her voice,

and didn’t scream for help.