Sunday, December 4, 2011

reverb 11.

So I just heard about this blogging project called Reverb 11 that you're supposed to do everyday in December. And I really want to do it and it's only the 4th so I think I am still gonna go for it. Basically it's a reflection on 2011 and there are prompts for everyday that you're supposed to use. So I'm gonna do my first four days in this post and then try to do it daily from here on out. Here goes!

DAY ONE - One word.

Encapsulate 2011 in one word. Explain why you’re using that word.

Hmm that's really difficult. Of all the prompts I've had to do this one actually kinda tripped me up the most. I don't know what one word I could use to describe it. I guess if I picked one word it would be "trying". I think that word fits really well because it has two meanings. One is obviously to try something which I definitely did a lot of this year. I had a few firsts and did things I had never done before but also it has been trying in a different way. The second half of this year has been really hard for me. A lot of constant things in my life changed and I had to learn to adjust so yeah "trying" seems to fit.

DAY TWO - Let go

What, or whom, did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of some friends this year. I didn't feel like they were the best kinds of friends I could be hanging out with and thought it would be better if we went our separate ways. It's a lot more complicated than that but that's the gist of it. I also let go of trying to pretend I'm Mormon in front of my parents which was a big deal but I am so thankful that I am no longer trying to be someone I'm not. Admittedly it's not easy and I know it's still a disappointment to them but in the long run I know it's for the best.

DAY THREE - Ambitions

What are your ambitions? What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to/detracts from your ambitions? Can you eliminate it?

I think my main ambition is writing. I want to someday be published and I know that seems like an impossible dream it's what I've wanted since I was little. I don't know many little girls that wanted to be writers when they grew up but it's something I've always loved. I think something that detracts from that is the fact that I'm always busy writing things for school and not anything for myself anymore which is also why I wanted to take this challenge. I am hoping it'll force me to focus more time back onto my writing.

DAY FOUR - Healing

What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2012?

I am still in a large process of healing. I started therapy again in early September because I could sense that I was about to spiral out of control and I am so glad I started when I did. I think if I had prolonged therapy any longer it could've been very bad. I had to fill out an evaluation when I started and I was only 3 points away from severe depression which is generally where people start committing suicide or acts of self harm. I took the test again last week and I am now in the normal range so I've made a lot of progress in just a few months. It's definitely been a drip-by-drip evolution and I am still in the process. I hope to have a lot more healing in 2012. I hope to be able to trust people again and kind of start over.

1 comment:

  1. I miss your blogs. I don't know if I just haven't been checking blogger or if you haven't been writing..but I'm glad you're back. We NEED to get coffee!