i've never loved anyone more than i love you. nobody. not him, not anyone.

The truth is, sometimes I just don't sleep. I guess you could say I have insomnia or something. I prefer to think of it as sometimes my brain has too much to think about and just won't settle down to give me a break. But in any case, it's 4 am here in Salt Lake City, Utah and once again I'm here alone.

I've been a mess lately and I attribute a lot of it to not writing anymore. I say that a lot but then I get back in the same habits or not writing every night like I used to. I really do need to try to work on this. I started writing on my private blog again and it helps immensely. If you're lucky maybe I'll give you a link, but maybe not. Like I said, it's private.

I don't really know what to say here anymore. I can't really say what I need to say because I don't want to hurt the people who read this but I guess I'll just say this, I'm really hurting right now and I don't really know how to fix it. There's one person who could make it all a lot easier but I don't know if they'll help me out...so I'm sort of at a loss. I need to talk to them about it I suppose.

Also, I wrote down some of my secrets and realized that they have to remain secrets. Except one...that I put as the title of this post...

I guess that's it. Hello 4 am...how I hate you so much...