your ex lover is dead.

It's been an eventful weekend. I love where I am in life right now. And I love that no matter what happens to me and no matter how bad life seems it always bounces back. There is never any time or any situation that lasts forever. And even though it may be sad that it's true for unbelievable happiness as well, the dark times don't last forever. And I hope anyone reading this that is in a dark place knows that it will get better again. It has to. It's the way the world works.

I can't wait for summer. I know it's still February but I am so excited. It's funny to think of the person I was last year or even last fall. I have come so far since then. I truly know who I am and I truly love it. And the cool thing about finding out who you are and loving it is it's so much easier. Everything is easier. You make friends easier, people like you better because they get to know the real you! And if they don't like it then find someone else who does. It really is simple. We complicate life so much when in reality you don't need to. Let go of people who don't love you and find people who do. There are all kinds of great people in the world that might be waiting for a friend like you.

Sorry I know I'm being ridiculously cheesy right now I am just blissfully happy. Everything happens for a reason. Fate and serendipity are watching over me. I know it. Things are falling in to place. And even though I'm really stressed with school right now and trying to get a job it's all gonna be okay. I know it. I'll get through it and if some things fall through the cracks it'll be fine. It's not the end of the world. In fact in a year I'm sure I'll be amazed at how far I've come again...these challenges are a part of life and I welcome them.

Seriously so happy right now. Just kinda feel like telling everyone I know and giving everyone hugs. I love all my friends and I am so grateful to the ones that have stayed by my side and the new ones I've been making along the way. 

Yes you can judge me for loving Katy Perry's new song. Also the lyrics in this video are kinda off but really this song makes me happy and I blast it in my car and belt it out. So judge away, I'm happy.

you belong with me, not swallowed in the sea.

Well hello there blog readers. I don't really know if any of you are out there anymore but I hope you enjoyed all my little pictures from my last post. Probably not because no one commented haha. I feel like I should actually write something but I'm scared of what might spill out if I start letting it. I'm trying really hard to get past things. I really am. I'm using unconventional methods...at least for me. School starts in a week though so I guess I'll have to focus myself on my studies instead of partying which will be better for me mentally and physically ha. I'm taking creative writing and I am so excited, maybe I can actually start writing something meaningful again. It's been too long. Loss is always good for writing too so maybe this will be a good semester. Here's to hoping. I'll try to write more later I'm really tired. Last night was a little crazy...here's some words of wisdom from an 8 year old to tide you over...ha

pick me-up #7

I really needed this today.

I may print this out and hang it on my mirror or something. It's easy to forget these things and we as human beings don't tell each other enough how amazing we are and it kinda makes me sad.

You're beautiful and you matter.

[this applies to all the men out there who read my blog too, ha.]

Question...

It's times like these when I really wish I had more readers because I have a question for the masses:

Can you really ever hate someone you once loved?

I mean this in the sense that the break-up wasn't based on being cheated on or anything like that. Just a run of the mill things weren't right right then or what not. No one was really at fault, just ended type of thing.

So what do you think? Also, if you wanna share this with friends so I can get more answers that would be fantastic.

pick me-up #3

that boy is a monster…

 

I’ve spent a lot of time wasting time today. Mostly cleaning up my playlists on iTunes and my iPod and what not. It’s been weird looking at the “last played” column. Thinking back to those times when I last listened to a certain song. I can almost put myself back into that moment somehow. And it’s crazy. I feel like I should warn the girl listening to the song of impending danger or changes that would happen. Or tell her to remember the way things are in that moment and appreciate them.

I guess I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on things lately. I was tagged in our high school panoramic picture on Facebook tonight. I had completely forgotten it existed. It made me sad thinking that we won’t ever all be together in that big of a group again. Not everyone will attend reunions. So many people have changed already. I immediately looked for him in the picture too. He looked so stoic and different which is weird. I wonder what the boy in the picture would think if he saw the current man he’s trying to be. And I think of the fact that we graduated together and had a class together and had no idea how perfect we were for each other. I guess it makes me scared and excited for the future. It makes me want to appreciate this moment I’m in now because I’ll miss it someday.