the great loves are the crazy ones

DAY NINE - Travel

How did you travel in 2011? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

I traveled mostly to St George/Vegas in 2011. I also visited Park City a handful of times and South Carolina for my yearly trip. I definitely need to do more traveling. I feel like that is the main theme of this whole thing besides how much I've changed over this past year. But traveling is definitely a big part. It's always been a part of who I am and a very important part of my family. I would love to travel to Europe next year but I don't know if that's possible. If anything I may end up in Zimbabwe for Christmas to visit my brother and his family but if not I am going to plan a trip to Canada or Seattle or something. I've been here far too long. I'm aching for an adventure.

come find me.

DAY SEVEN - Beyond Avoidance

What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I actually think 2011 was my biggest year of being who I am and not having regrets. The first thing that came to mind when I thought of something I didn't do in 2011 that I wanted to do more of was traveling but I don't really have any power over that because I have no money. I really miss traveling. It has always been such a big part of my life. But I definitely think I am going to try to be more adventurous in 2012 though. I've never been one to sit around and not tell people my feelings for them so that won't be an issue but I think I'll try to do more of that. Also greetings from St George! I am basically done with my semester, just have an online final and a portfolio to turn in on Monday. So happy :)

sometimes i write poetry...

City of Sin

The bright neon lights of the city

contrast to the black desert sky,

Light and dark,

that’s you and I.

You took a long drag from your ten dollar cigar

feeling invincible but looking so out of place.

Hand in hand underage kids

drunk off love.

Singing our duet for everyone to hear,

but now it’s too

entwined with you

to ever sing on my own.

It will always be you and me

stumbling arm in arm

both weak and not dependent

to make each other strong.

stolen from jill.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to 10 Different People (but don't say their name):
1. I wish I could do more to help you. You've been such a good friend to me and you don't deserve all the terrible things that have happened to you in your life.
2. I think you're an idiot. I wish you never pushed me away. I feel like the only person in the world who wants to help you and you're denying yourself of it. You've brought this upon yourself. I still love you though, despite everything. I wish I knew you still cared. I wish you'd talk to me. You broke your promise. You ended up just like him.
3. I miss you. You were my best friend. You knew me better than anyone. I've really needed you these past few weeks but I've been too afraid to reach out. I'm too afraid that you'll leave me again.
4. I really wish you weren't doing this. I know you think it'll make you happy, but I don't want to see you get hurt. You mean a lot to me.
5. I meant it when I said I don't know what I'd do without you. You've been there with me through so much and I think we've always had a special bond...I guess you knew that too. I'm still shocked about everything but the fact that it's you makes it a lot less scary.
6. I know you worry about me, but I promise I'm going to be fine. I'm still the same girl you always knew, now I just get to be honest.
7. I'm so glad we're friends. You make me laugh like no other and we've gotten really close really quickly. I know you feel the same way about me and it's fantastic. I think we'll be friends for a long time. If we can get through all this we can get through anything.
8. You annoy the living hell out of me.
9. I hate your boyfriend. I hope you don't end up together, please you're so much better than that.
10. I probably take our friendship for granted a lot but you've always been there for me. More so than anyone else, even when I call you at 3 in the morning bawling or because I can't sleep. Thanks for being so sweet.

Nine Things About Myself:
1. I am left handed.
2. I'm lactose intolerant but believe ice cream is always worth the pain.
3. Taurus and proud.
4. I would love to run away and not tell a soul.
5. I want to be a cat that lives in a bookstore in my next life.
6. I've kissed eleven people.
7. I could eat Thai, Indian, and sushi for every meal and be extremely happy.
8. London is my favorite city.
9. I'm in love with Bradley Cooper.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. Honesty.
2. Make me laugh.
3. Endless conversations.
4. Proving that you'll stick around.
5. Going on fun/spontaneous/random/awesome adventures.
6. The little things (ie holding my hand, i love yous, compliments)
7. Letting me meet your family and friends. It means a lot.
8. Not giving up on me when I'm stubborn.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:
1. You.
2. Money.
3. Traveling.
4. My family and friends.
5. Naps.
6. How much I want another dog.
7. Song lyrics.

Six Things I Do Before Falling Asleep
1. Put pajamas on.
2. Brush teeth.
3. Take make up off.
4. Check facebook and twitter.
5. Text.
6. Think about stuff and hope that I can fall asleep that night.

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
1. Katy
2. My parents.
3. The rest of my family.
4. My Georgey Shore family
5. My other amazing friends.

Four Things I'm Wearing:
1. Pink and white striped shirt I got for my birthday.
2. Jean shorts.
3. Silver bow earrings.
4. Socks.

Three Songs I Listen to Often (this summer):
1. Fools Like Me - Vanessa Carlton
2. She (For Liz) - Parachute
3. Wayy too many Taylor Swift songs

Two Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. See the Northern Lights while in a hot tub.
2. Live on the coast of Maine

One Confession:
1. 

i need you so much closer.

So my birthday was yesterday and stuff and it was great but these past two days have been dragging on forever. It probably has something to do with the fact that I only got 5 hours of sleep last night or something but it mostly has to do with the fact that like my picture says, time goes by slower when you miss the one you love. I am pathetically listening to "Halfway Around the World" by A*Teens on repeat at the moment. I know, you all should probably unfollow me right now. How embarrassing.

It's also been weird to me thinking about how easily one can fall into old habits. It's weird how a time of year, a room, a smell, can take you back to a memory. I'm trying to avoid it and probably will I'm just slightly vulnerable at the moment.

I don't even know why I write here anymore haha. Whatever.

my one true love...

I completely agree with this picture. People who don't want to travel or see this beautiful Earth that we are so fortunate to live on are crazy and I want nothing to do with them.

I was born to travel. My whole life has been sprinkled with traveling. I was lucky enough to be born to parents who have the means to let us travel quite often. My grandpa was in the Air Force while my dad was growing up so my dad has moved quite a bit. I honestly can't even remember all the places he's lived growing up but I know he lived in Indiana, Texas, England, Germany, Utah, the Philippines and probably other places I've forgotten. Since then he was also in the Air Force for a bit after my parents were married and they lived in Turkey, Germany, and Washington before settling in Utah. I guess you could say traveling is in my blood and something that I'm used to and kind of expect. The airport is almost like my second home, I get so excited every time I drive out there. I'm not a huge fan of the Salt Lake airport but I still love it because of the feelings of anticipation and excitement I get when I go there or the feelings of peace and comfort when I come home to the beautiful SLC skyline and my favorite mountains.

I've had some of my most life changing and maturing experiences while traveling. The summer after my sophomore year of high school I went to Europe for a couple weeks with a group from my school. It was the first time I had really traveled without my family and I learned so much about myself. I honestly know without a doubt I would be a completely different person without the things I have witnessed while traveling. It has made me cultured and appreciative of the freedoms I enjoy in America as well as just appreciating the beautiful world around us. There is so much to see and feel, so many people to meet, and so much to learn.

On that note, I've been in Utah wayy too long. I haven't left the state since last summer and I feel like I'm suffocating. I have never gone this long without some kind of trip being planned. The only thing I have for awhile is random trips to St George which hardly feed my addiction and then South Carolina in the summer like usual.

I need to explore but I have no money to do so. This is one of the worst feelings for me.

My Silver Medallion membership might be expiring soon too. Wonder how many Sky Miles I have... ;)

the little things…

Day 46: Photos of personal things in your life (pets, family, house, etc)

Most recent family pic even though this is outdated now. I have a new nephew as of two days ago haha.

That’s a picture of my house…by the way, I stole this picture from Google Maps. Sketchiest thing ever that they can put my house on the internet for all to see but I figured since it’s already there might as well use the same one for my blog hahaha.

My puppy Noodle.

My best friend/sister Katy who decided to photo bomb me in front of one of the pyramids of Giza. Hahahah.

when a man grows tired of london, he grows tired of life

Day 43: A picture of your favorite place in the world

I have done a fair amount of traveling in my 19 years on earth and of the countries I’ve been to and states I’ve visited London is by far my all-time favorite place in the world.

I have been there three times in my life and it is not nearly enough. I definitely want to live there at some point. It is perfection.

you held your pride like you should’ve held me

Day 32: A photo you took

Edinburgh, Scotland

2007

I see you riding ‘round town with the guy I love and I’m like forget you…

Day 23: Share one of your current favorite tunes

So I uh, don’t really have a current favorite tune. But my default is almost always Seventy Times 7. It fits my life absolutely perfectly right now so look that ish up.

In case you haven’t heard there was a gigantic blizzard warning issued for most of Northern Utah and Idaho and probably part of Wyoming and whatever basically just a ton of the western states. I still went to my severe and unusual weather class today though which seemed fitting and learned a lot about blizzards. Then he made us go outside and measure that crappy old snow we had leftover from the weekend so that was annoying. But I was reminded of the time when I was in Disneyworld with my family and there was a hurricane warning that was issued and we went to Epcot for half the day and then had to settle into our condo and prepare for the storm. It was the same kind of feeling that I had to carry on normally with my life but still realize that there was potential danger coming later on. The main difference between these two events was that the hurricane was much much worse. Seriously the blizzard has basically fizzled out here. I guess lake effect snow is still possible and the severe cold is the real issue here but I was prepared for a lot worse.

But meh whatever at least we’re all safe inside our warm homes. I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

Stay safe and warm everyone.

I didn’t take this but I thought it was pretty…and fitting.

I have a thing for pictures of deserted roads. True story.

Please believe...

Eat Pray Love was written/made into a movie just for me.
I'm not kidding.
Also that woman is living my life. Ha, I plan on being a writer and traveling the world. It'd be cool if I didn't get divorced but you know I'll take what I can get hahaha.